The Telepathic Unicycle

It’s COLD. Hace mucho frio. Tandi che (That’s Gujarati for those of you who aren’t…uh, well…Gujarati.)

I spent the evening driving from Home Depot to Home Depot in search of the last Tiffany Wall Sconces in the Tri-State Area.

They’re for the office, see. We’re trying desperately to re-decorate/re-model the way the slightly dated 1800’s building apears on the inside…typically not my taste, but my wife and an employee are rather fond of them since they match a sort of unintentional LOOK that the reception area already has…

I imagine it would be an interesting way to tour the country, really…From Home Depot to Home Depot. Then again, might as well go from Target to Target…passing the Pier One Imports, dodging the Walmarts, slaloming through the Kmarts…eating Taco Supremes at Taco Bell…sipping milkshakes at MickyD’s…Add a healthy fear of anything other that the above, and it is quintessential Americana.

Anyway, from the car in the Home Depot parking lot to the sodium vapor interior glow of the Home Depot itself, and back, times 3 = freakin’ cold. AND…I am still 2 Tiffany Wall Sconces below par. Bummer.

Although, you know what it really mesmerizing…The Moon. Yes, at the risk of sounding trippy hippy, the moon was so bright tonight–a mere 3 days shy of being full, so bright that I decided–unbeknownst to my wife and sister-in-law, SHHH–to go up on the roof of my house and sit by the warm, smoke-bellowing chim chinniney chim chim charoo, and gaze up at the amazing blindingly-bright natural earth orbiting satellite.

This lasted about 3 minutes because, hace mucho frio! (That’s Spanish for those of you who speak Tar-zhay.)

Anyway, I guess the point of tonight’s post is to say that an almost full moon on an unbelievably cold night generates a certain je ne sais quoi that makes me want to climb up onto my roof to get closer to it…but just for 3 minutes, without anyone knowing…at which point I go back into my house and sit by the warm glowing ashes of an almost nonexistent heat source in the fireplace.

BUT not before I take a picture of IT.

Now there’s an aspiration…travelling from Home Depot to Home Depot around the country photographing the moon from the parking lot.

Moon over Valhalla. 1/20/08

Not quite like cloud bursting, but almost.

Yes, I’m back…

Sort of.

The above image pretty much sums it up. (It’s a shot taken of the foot of our bed while we were watching TV. I couldn’t even be bothered to get out of bed to try out my new camera. And yes, the slow shutter speed is intentional and quite indicative of what I’m about to blogh about. And yes, I added the “h” there intentionally too…not sure why, but I like it.)

Since my last post almost a month ago, I haven’t done much. After the standard crazed holiday shopping and festive dinner parties, my wife and son and I spent 2 weeks in a state of FLORIDA. I say in “A” state because every time I go there–and this time it was especially so–I sort of turn into a zombie. A blob. I think I probably even lose a few IQ points. And for every brain cell that evaporates, I probably gain 2 pounds. Sure, I know what you’re going to say (I’m a telepathic, you know.) You’re going to say, “you are on vacación, you are supposed to veg out a little.” Oui Oui senior. You are speaking big truthishness, but this time was different.

I don’t know what it is, and perhaps I am jumping ahead a bit before I really explain what I mean, but I am really interested in this “floridia”phenomena as I will hence forth call it and I’m actively trying to find a coherent way to describe my feelings and theories on the subject. Some day soon I may aspire to publish a book about it or put it into song lyrics or a film idea or something…at the very least I’ll blog about it more extensively next time…because seriously, I think it is very important and may hold the key to several important issues with this country and the Western World in general.

I know what you’re thinking (telepathic again) you’re thinking, “what? Go back and watch some more tv.” Ok, I will. But next blog, I’ll really let you in on my theory.

I think it’s good to be back?